They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
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