I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize