Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
