theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
