Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
