Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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