Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
