don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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