Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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