Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
birth control should be required to get into college
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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