David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
