I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just had sex bonerless
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
