Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
