you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
