Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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