Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
