WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
