Kiss
Puke
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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