I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
