Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
