I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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