is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
