Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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