no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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