Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
