I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize