he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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