i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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