party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
