; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
