also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
