Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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