he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize