my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
