My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize