Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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