You made me cry and you don't even care
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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