Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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