...so i touched it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
