You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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