Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I need a beard to bite.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
