I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
