I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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