And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
