So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
