You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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