So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my shit smells like andre
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
