when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
