But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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