That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
