Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
