i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
