I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
