Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
