so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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