Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
