eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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