i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
