I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
