then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
