The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
