Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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