Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
