Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
